The Musician's Wife

Time for a change

Hello all!  While it may seem to the untrained eye that I have simply become a slacker in the blogging department, I have actually been working hard on redesigning and reorganizing my website.  I'm talking to designers and doing research to try to make the most of my online presence.  One of the things involved in this is taking a good hard look at what the whole point of my blog really is.

When I think about why I'm doing this a few things come to mind. 

The first is noble: I want to help people.  I really, really want the stuff I have gone through or am going through to be a boon to others who may be going through similar things.  I'd like to share ideas or things that others might benefit from.  I also, on my new site, want to marry my blog with my photography and writing instead of having two separate (three if you count Ah! The Blog!) areas to tend to. 

The second reason is not noble as much as it is truthful:  I desire community.  That's a hard one to admit because what it really boils down to is wanting to matter.  My internal desire to have other people buy into me and my writing, care about what I have to say and even respond to it.  This has been the hardest thing for me because I don't get many comments on my posts.  I have blogger friends who get tons of comments with every post, ten, twenty or more.  I rarely get one.  When my friend Patrick asked me the other night after a show how the blog was going, I didn't know what to say.  I had been in a funk about it all week because I was asking myself what the point was.  I'm getting over a thousand page views every month but little to no interaction.  I'm such a social, extroverted person and this lack of dialogue is disheartening.  Poor Patrick had to listen to me whine about being unsure of myself but that is what it's all about--needing the approval of others.  I have the same struggle with my budding photography "career".  What's the point of taking photos if no one is looking at them?

I'm working on this, though.  It's been made very clear to me via a few random comments from friends and strangers alike that my posts and photography and other writing do matter and are noticed even if no one says so in the virutal world.  I need to remember that even if all this work just serves as a record of my life to look back on when I'm sixty-two then it is well worth the effort.  Especially with a memory as bad as mine.

A third thing is almost just as embarassing to admit: I'd like to make money via my blog.  Even if it's just the place where someone sees my photography and wants to hire me to take photos of them or write a bio for their band or an article for their website.  I'd like to try ads again, but this time for people I know and businesses I patronize myself.  I have NO idea how this works but I'm willing to figure it out.  It may seem like selling out and if it is, that's okay.  I have three kids to help take care of and if advertising on my site is selling my soul, well, if it means a little more security or being able to give generously to the people I love or causes I support the so be it.  My dream is to live a life that is simpler and more abundant in things that matter the most in this short little life I've been given.

So this is where I am at.  The Musician's Wife is a work in progress.  Both the site and the person behind it.  I really appreciate the support of all my readers, friends old and new and my family as well.  I hope you will stick with me as I navigate creating a new site that is a better representation of the people my husband, kids and I have become since starting this blog in 2009. 

 

Gretchen

Well, we got a puppy.

We weren't going to.  Really.  

We had an offer to adopt a cute little corgi/border collie mix a while back and I turned it down.  Between our older dog's megaesopghagus and our fence blowing down, I really didn't want to try to take on another dog.

But then it started getting really cold around here and we couldn't keep our 7 year old boxer outside anymore.  It'd honestly be like making a person sit in a cage in the garage, naked, in freezing weather.   That dog has less hair that my husband.  

No joke.

So my friend, Josie, got a boxer puppy and informed me that there was another litter and three were available.   Convinced that the only way to help our dog get over his stupid separation anxiety that has him peeing in the house when left alone was to get another dog of course my ears perked right up at the mention of boxer pups! (Phew! Marathon of a run on sentence, huh?) Plus, Brad is NOT a dog person but his ears perked at the idea of a boxer puppy, too.

The moral of the story (wait, moral?) is that we got a teeny tiny 7 week old boxer puppy and she's adorable and wonderful and screams like a freaking banshee whenever we leave her in her kennel.

But it only lasts for one or two minutes now, so I can handle it.  

Meet Gretchen!

'Tis the season...

I wrote this post a week ago...let's see how much I have to edit it...good thing it's SHORT.

Fall is my favorite time of year, but this last two three weeks has kind of really sucked as we've dealt with pneumonia and colds and bronchitis right at the start. 

I'm still in good  decent spirits, though, because autumn energizes me like no other season (unless I have a week long bout of upper resperatory infection....then I can barely brush my teeth much less do laundry.)  Some people get excited for spring, others are all jacked up for summer.  But for my husband and I, it is a chill in the air and the turning of leaves that really inspire us.

We don't spring clean, we fall clean.  We don't really decorate for spring/summer holidays, either.  We're all about the pumpkins, sunflowers and fake fall leaf garland.  We just love autumn!

What is your favorite season and why?

 

Note:  I have tried to upload two photos for this post like, a million times.  They won't load.  Sorry people!

 

Hoover Damn-it and one BAD DOG (updated)

I had a long day today.

It started with me losing it at 6:30am because my daughter had peed the bed.  Instead of calling for me or her daddy she chose to lay in the puddle and do an "Uhhhh!" sound every fifteen minutes or so.  I thought she was just tossing and turning but then I finally went to check and it was Hoover dam, all over her bed.  Which would not have been a big deal if she hadn't somehow wiggled off the mattress cover AND sheet and then had the accident.  So the combo of her not simply saying "Hey, I need help in here." and someone not making sure the bed covers were properly secured (let's just say I was not home at bed time...ahem.) added to my having stayed up WAY too late editing photos was a prime concoction for me out right yelling at my child.

I may have also tripped over a Disney princess play baby stroller and tossed it, less than gently, into the closet to get it out of my way.

It was not a pretty morning.

I came home in the late afternoon and promptly apologized (with misty eyes) to my little lady for yelling and my other little lady for tossing her possession about like it was junk.

   
Aren't they lovely?

They both forgave me (in our house we use the words "I forgive you." instead of "That's okay." or whathaveyou and it's very sweet coming from the mouths of babes.)  They are such sweet hearts, they felt bad for me!  I got lots of hugs and kisses...which didn't really help with the whole guilt thing.

 You may think, ladies and gentlemen, that this experience led me to be more measured in my emotions and discussions, but, alas, twas not to be true.

I got very frustrated with my boy.  He's been whining and complaining and stealing food (like soda from the 4th and even his sister's food off her plate!) and I had just had enough.

So I lectured.  

And lectured.

In a very cranky, I am so better than you holier than thou manner.

UG.  I hate that manner.  I hate hearing that manner come out of my mouth in my voice.

("Is that...MY voice?"  name that movie!)

My hubly had to step in and call me off like a guard dog after a thief.  Which, he was a thief, but a thief of soda and an unsuccessful attempt at swiping quesadilla off a sibling's plate.  Not grand larceny.  We're talking candy bars and batteries, here and I was acting like he'd broken all ten commandments on the same day in the same hour.

Now, I know, stealing is not okay.  But this girl's got to learn how to keep things in perspective, ya know?

Anyway...I digress.

 He really is a good kid.  He's just got to follow in my crazy footsteps.  That means a lot of tripping, I guess.

So away from home I left, and Brad did too, I with the girls and he with the boy, me to work and  he to band practice.

The last thing I said to my man, besides I love you, was this:  

"Did you put the garbage away or is there stuff Punkers (our dog...no, we did not name him) can get into while we're gone?"

And he replied:

"Nope, the garbage is put away."

Famous

last

words.

I had cleaned up a good portion of the mess before I thought to take out the camera and get shots of the crime scene.

Coffee grounds, strawberries, eggshells...and one lonely little blueberry in the foreground.  I don't even think it was a bad one.  Must've just gotten in with the wrong crowd   Like my dog.  I don't know what's worse...going to the dump as a perfectly fine blueberry that nobody wanted or as something that came out of my dog.  Either way, it's bye bye, blue.  

Ug...so gross.  What carnage! What waste! (get it?  Waste?)

 

They just didn't know what hit 'em.

 

 Oh the humanity!  

Somebody take me away.

To a magical place where I don't have to mop the floor at nine o'clock at night or purchase a new mattress.

Please?

Oh...I forgot to add a photo of the culprit.

Don't let his cute onlyamothercouldloveit face and Iamsosorry demeanor fool you.

He's one bad son of a dog. 

Goodbye, Moo Moo.

I have been pondering health and nutrition a lot lately.  As such, I feel that I'm on the cusp of making some changes to my diet (and that of my family, naturally) that after all my reading and research I honestly think will be really beneficial.  Both Brad and I need to lose some weight and even though eliminating gluten has really improved my and the kid's health, I think we could all feel a lot better through better nutritional choices.  Of course, I still have a budget that I need to work with...so this should be interesting.  Many of the websites and books I've read talk about better eating as if an unlimited budget is a reality for most people.  It's frustrating.  I have found A Peasant's Feast which I am excited to dig into...eating healthy on a budget...what a novel idea.

I've also been researching  vegetarian, vegan and raw food diets and all of them are appealing to some extent.  They also vary in degrees of drastic-ness (drasticicity?) with raw being the most and vegetarian being the least.  Then you have the in-betweens, such as pescitarians who eat fish and diets that simply remove beef or beef and pork and subsist on chicken, fish, dairy and all things vegan as well.

Believe it or not, I really think that for us the best move is to start with removing beef and dairy.

My husband is not going to be happy.

I love you, honey!

Goodbye big, cheap jugs of Costco 2% milk!  (Those new fangled bottles are too hard to pour anyway...am I right?)

So my first goal will be to eliminate our reliance on all things moo moo i.e. milk, half & half, sour cream and cheese.  I plan on continuing to eat high quality yogurt and I will probably keep a quart of non-homogenized milk on hand as well.  As far as sour cream and cheese...I still need to do some research on possible alternatives.  Anyone got any ideas?

I'm going to avoid soy based products unless it's organic, Non-GMO and doesn't taste disgusting. 

Our milk replacement will be unsweetened almond milk for me and Brad (we've gone sugar free already) and probably the vanilla almond milk for the kids, to make the transition easier.  I plan on weaning them off of that onto the unsweetened kind after a bit. 

Thank goodness we don't need to worry about hidden dairy as well as hidden gluten.  My friend Cat is allergic to dairy and it's as big a pain in the booty as being gluten intolerant.  Heaven forbid we become both!

I also want to focus on having a lot more ready to eat fruits and veggies on hand and work them into our  meals much more often.  Not just having a salad at meal time but having the veggies and beans have more of the center stage than even meat.  Eventually.

I think that the key to making any major dietary change is taking steps that work for you and making sure to reevaluate at specific intervals.  Especially with growing kids, I'll need to be really careful that they are not missing anything they need to grow.

The other thing to watch is our food budget.  I'd rather spend more money on quality food and less money on other things, but we still need to be conscience of how much we're spending and where we can trim.  Being gluten free is already more expensive.  However, if we stick to whole foods and use less of the expensive stuff and more of the cheap stuff (like in season fruits and vegetables, beans, etc) I think we can make this work.

Planning ahead is key to transitions like this.

It is also not my strong suit.  But hopefully, as time goes by I will get into a rhythm that will make this easier and hopefully second nature.

As we go make these changes I hope to blog about it (obviously) and also post some product reviews on stuff I'm trying as alternatives to what we're trying to cut out.  If you have any suggestions let me know...I'll try it and tell you what I think!

Wish us luck!

The Post with the...least.

#1: I am so tired!

Still!

Gah.

Dealing with this stupid disease sucks a lot.  

I could sleep for twelve hours and then sleep some more.  But...I can't, really.  I have a home and a family and work, etc.  So I don't sleep that much, but my body would sure like it if I did.  On a positive note, I'm starting to feel better, finally!  Which is good, because we have a weekend camping trip coming up.  This stuff helps A LOT.  It's a little gross tasting at first, but once you get used to it, it actually starts to taste good and it really does make me feel better.  I buy mine at Fred Meyer...I think some Safeway's have it too.  There are all kind of websites about why it's good for you or bad for you, but I've never had a negative side effect and you can find all the same stuff on coffee and nearly anything else you can ingest.  Since I don't make it myself but purchase it from a retail store, I feel very safe drinking it and, like I said, it really helps.  I get the same effect as coffee but without the jitters, blood pressure spikes and the need for sugar filled creamer!

#2:  So Chase bank, our lovely home mortgage company, has decided we are not worthy of a loan modification and therefore don't get to keep our home.  That sucks a lot, too.  It's a little beyond me how it all works, but from what I can gather, they make more money in the long run, via government money, by not refinancing us.  Our friend sent us a video about how another bank, Indymac, who was bought by the FDIC and then sold to another bank, is making money off of foreclosures because of the way they are basing the losses from the original loan amounts and not what the bank paid for them (which was 70% of their value).  In short, banks can make a 30% profit if they can count a mortgage as a loss.  This is a benefit to them not approving loan modifications. 

And don't think that we're one of 'those people' who signed a loan we couldn't afford.  We put ALL of the profit and equity we made on our first home (near $75,000) into our current home and only financed about $215,000...the company we went with, however, Mortgage Design Group, told us our monthly payment included taxes and insurance which it did not...when our loan was sold to Chase, the automated payment system took out our regular payment for two years without anyone informing us that we were not paying on our taxes and insurance.  Yes, if we had paid better attention to our statements we would have figured it out sooner...we were naive to trust that what was stated was not the truth.  Even if we had noticed, we would have still be in a monthly payment we could not afford with taxes and insurance added in.  We told MDG we could not pay more than $1500 a month with everything included and they assured us that this amount included everything.  It did not.  That company doesn't exist anymore...go figure.

So we got caught up, the economy took a nose dive, our home became worth less than what we owed, Brad lost his job at Verizon and we needed to get a little help with a loan modification.  It took almost an entire year just to get a 'NO" from them.

So, we will figure out the next steps, take a huge credit hit and find a rental for us, our three kids and hopefully our renters as well (they live in the bottom of our split level).  Hopefully we can find a place that will take our dog and cats...that would be a terrible end to a terrible situation to have to give our pets away on top of everything else.  Luckily there are lots of rentals around the area and it seems, at first glance, that many will take pets.  

So all in all this has been a stressful few days.  I have my house cleaning post almost done...which feels a little ironic.  I'm not sure if I want to post it now! =P

The thing I keep trying to remember is that no matter where we end up, we will be home because we will be together.  I saw a family of nine on TV that were on the brink of losing their home and were going to have to split the kids up because they weren't going to be able to afford to rent a home big enough for all of them.  Oprah and one of the guys from the Black Eyed Peas paid their mortgage off...I was so happy for them! Can you imagine having to send some of your children to live with relatives because you lost your job and then your home?  So, in comparison to that we're doing fine.  I have a good job and Brad is working hard from home with our live audio business and his music. 

We'll be okay, because we will be together!

Your Adventure has Been Temporarily Postponed

I have the whole thing written out, but because I'm a perfection-ista  I am waiting to publish my post about house cleaning until I get photos to go with it.

Because I am visual and maybe you are, too.

So....be patient with me, it is on it's way!

I will post it Tuesday, pictures or no pictures.

Later today I will be posting a tid-bit for Marriage Monday.

See you soon!

Choose your own adventure!

Good morning everybody!

Today I present to you the Choose Your Own Adventure Post!

Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I have been reading some of my favorite blogs and have seen two subject patterns emerge.

I am observant.

Yay for me!

Subject numba ONE! Photography, specifically photographing children (i.e. moving objects).

Subject numaa TWO! House cleaning, specifically keeping up with the mess (i.e. moving objects that move other objects...ceaselessly)

Well, I have some little knowledge of BOTH of those subjects that I would love to share with you all!  More importantly I have personal, all access passes to professionals in both those topics who's brains I can pick to answer your questions and write something relatively useful.

Now.

People.

I need you to understand...my blog gives me stats.  My blog tells me that right around FIFTY people land on my blog on any given day and over half of those people stay for a minute to actually read it.

I know you're there. 

You cannot hide!

So, here is what you should...no, MUST do!

You must VOTE!

You must CHOOSE!

Death by shark or death by monkeys!!!

No, wait...(name that movie)

Shall I, today, write a post on house cleaning.

Or about photographing your or other people's children.

#1 or #2

A or B

It's not hard.

PEOPLE!

Leave a comment...tell me what to do.

This is your chance to be BOSSY!

With someone who will OBEY!

Do not fail me, dear readers.

Or I will write a post about something boring.

Or gross.

Or both.

A Tour...Part I

As much as I don't identify myself by my stuff, it always helps to get to know someone by the things they surround themselves with...and also things they don't.  Over at Marriage Confessions, Kate has some fun posts about her office and the explanations of the pictures really made me feel like I was getting to know her better.  So here's a little tour around my house, for your viewing pleasure. 

I'll start with my bedroom because this is where I've been working, cleaning, organizing, purging, etc.  Because we're getting roomies soon (we live in a split level and they'll take the bottom floor) we had to re-think our home office set ups.  So now there's a corner desk thingy in the living room for our PC and Brad's work space and my antique desk is nestled in the corner in our room.

I'd eventually like to get some curtains for the window as well as remove the bathroom and closet doors (that you can't see) and replace with curtains as well.  The closet doors are giant brass and mirror monstrosities that are so loud in their tracks it wakes the neighbors. (Okay, it only wakes me up but still, that's more than enough reason for me to despise them.) and the bathroom door opens IN and it's a freakin' small space anyway.

This sign is over the window...our friends gave it to us after we went through Marriage Encounter a couple of years ago.  It's a little bit of fairy tale and I treasure it.  Marriage Encounter was amazing for many reasons and if you ever get a chance to go, take it!

This is my little office nook.  That red chair is super comfy, but is too big for me and too low, so we'll have to figure out something else at some point.  I bought it for Brad years ago for his studio, so he'd have a comfy chair to sit in and play guitar.  A chair with arms would make that difficult and I found this on Overstock.com for pretty cheap. 

I'm also glad that I have a place to display my Oscar that's not too obvious.  I wouldn't want anyone thinking I was full of myself...

Loren got this for me at Universal Studios three years ago.  It makes me smile...and giggle...because the guy is literally wearing underwear.  You can't see it because these photos are terrible but he's got briefs on under that six pack!

Isn't it pretty? Except for that icky pink thing on my side table there...it's a non-skid pad so I can put a plate/bowl thingy my friend made me there without fear it would fall.  I just haven't gotten that far, yet. 

 I found that hanging star in a TJ Max in Thousand Oaks...I love it.  It's all wire and glass beads on a metal frame.  Here's a list of things in this picture I acquired from my friend Caylin: The wreath, the side table, the lamp.  I got the wooden tulips from my friend Wendy. 

The artwork on the wall was done by my son, Loren, in second grade.  The doll is from a trip to Thailand I took with my family when I was nine.  The bottle and silver box I found at the thrift store and purchased for a total of five dollars.  The dog in the left hand (my left?) frame is our current pooch, Punkers, aka Punk, aka Punky Poops aka The Saddest Looking Dog In the Universe. The hunk in the right hand photo is Brad in 1998 in France.  I wasn't there but I like the picture.

Then there's this photo:

I took this when Loren was three.  We went on a trip to the Tulip Festival and I saw this and snapped a few pictures of it.  I completely forgot about it until I got the pictures back from the photo place (yes, this was back before digital was default) and still, I put it away and forgot about it until yesterday when I found it in my desk. 

It spoke to me so I stuck it in a frame and plopped it center stage.  When I look at it I am reminded that even though there are a million other amazing writers and photographers out there, I shouldn't let that keep me from perusing my dreams.  I was created and gifted uniquely and lovingly and I have no right to second guess God's design just because a lot of other people out there do what I do. 

And this is my water bottle. This was totally an impulse buy.  I love the logo and I love The Swell Season who are amazing artists and inspire Brad and I in different ways.  You should go check them out...you won't be sorry!  You should also, immediately, asap, go rent their movie, Once.  

TBC...computer trouble!! Gah!

Spring Cleaning Carnival on The Nourishing Gourmet

Photo Credit

Kimberly over at The Nourishing Gourmet is doing a five week spring cleaning carnival, complete with giveaways every week!  The idea is for us to clean out a specific area of our kitchen every week and report back our progress to get entered to win some awesome weekly prizes.

This week it's the Fridge and Freezer!

Brad has already done a bang up job on our fridge, and I'll do the freezer later this week. 

Meanwhile, go check out The Nourishing Gourmet.

I also thought this article was very interesting as well. 

How often do you clean out your fridge?